


The Fall Of Two Stars

by Scarlet_Fire_1918



Series: Marauders Era [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, I Blame Tumblr, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Letter from the Dead, Mention of Voldemort, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Three Broomsticks, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-20 03:20:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9473141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Fire_1918/pseuds/Scarlet_Fire_1918
Summary: Sacrifice and BlameOne Brother Sacrifices Himself to Defy the Dark Lord; The Other Will Forever Blame Himself. Welcome to The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.





	1. The Fall Of Two Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skinnylove777](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skinnylove777/gifts).



> Once again this little one-shot or fic would not have happened without a spark from two of my amazing friends. I'm very proud of how this turned out and hope you enjoy it. This is my first time writing any form of Marauders Era piece though I have more to come soon.

Sirius walks out of his shared flat with Remus and into the cool sunny weather. Locking the door behind him, Sirius turns around a look of confusion taking over his features as he sees a familiar owl with a letter in its mouth, an owl he hasn't seen in three years since he ran away. Slowly Sirius takes the letter from the owl, his hand brushing through the bird's feathers. Snapping back to himself a lopsided grin pulling at his lips, he tucks the letter into his jacket pocket before continuing down the street, making his way towards the Three Broomsticks to meet up with Remus, James, and Peter like they do every Friday after work, all thoughts of confusion being forgotten.

As Sirius walks into the pub, his eyes darting around in search of the other Marauders. When he doesn’t see any of them, he makes a beeline to one of the booths in the back. Once he is seated, he takes the letter out of his pocket looking at the familiar handwriting of his name on the front of the envelope. Slowly he opens the envelope; his eyes scan the paper before reading it.

_**To my dear brother Sirius,** _

_I will be long dead when you receive this letter; I know that we have never had the best relationship. I sincerely wish we had been on better terms. I have stolen one of Voldemort’s Horcrux's, and it has been destroyed by the time you got this. I had become a DeathEater before I knew what I was getting myself into. Knowing you from when we were kids I know you're going to blame yourself, but please try not to. Even if you hate me cause of our parents or the choices I made along the way I still want you to know that I love you and always looked up to you for your bravery to leave home and separate from what you didn’t believe was right. Our family may not have thought that you were the better son, but I know better. Try and stay safe and keep yourself surrounded by your friends, from what I have seen in passing through the years at school. They are good for you. You were always the smarter of the two of us, stay true to yourself, it's gotten you this far. Goodbye Sirius._

_**Your younger brother,** _

_**R.A.B.** _

Slowly Sirius places the letter on the table, tears welling up in his eyes. Looking up from the paper Sirius’ gray eyes meeting with a pair of amber and green eyes that could only belong to one person. “Hey Siri, are you alright? Did something happen?” Remus asks, his eyes scanning over his boyfriend. Unable to speak Sirius pushes the letter across the table to where Remus is standing. The taller man picks up the paper, falling into silence as he reads over the younger Black’s words. As he reads the letter Remus gently sits next to Sirius, the dark haired moving to straddle the taller man, burying his face into Remus’ shoulder, silent sobs escaping from the smaller man.

Putting the paper down Remus wraps his arms around the older man, pulling him closer to him, rubbing patterns on his back in a comforting gesture. When Remus spots James and Peter making their way over to them, he makes a cautioning gesture, handing them the letter when they were close enough, his hand trembling as he fights back tears, soothing Sirius every time a broken sob makes it past his lips. The two men skim the letter, looking up when another sob escapes from the dark haired man. Remus looks up at the other men, whispering “I think we should go before we draw any more attention to yourself.” Looking around at the people staring at them, the others nods while James suggests that they head to his and Lily’s home in Godric Hallows, Remus nods at the suggestion. “We are going to go to James and Evan’s, okay Pads? Now I’m going to stand up so just put your legs around my waist. I’ve got you.” He whispers to Sirius, his long hair tickling his nose. As Remus stands up, Sirius does as be was told and wraps his legs around the taller man's waist. As they walk out of the building, Sirius lets out a small whimper in pain, the other three sharing glances, feeling their friend's heartbreak just from the little sound.

Quietly the group enters the house, Sirius having fallen asleep on their way over, his body would occasionally shuttering from a nightmare. They all make their way to the living room, Sirius stirring slightly as Remus sits down on the couch closest to the fire. As Remus pulls a blanket tightly around them, he notices that Sirius' eyes are open. Running his fingers through the unruly black curls Remus places a small smile on his face. “Hey love, how are you? Do you need anything?” he asks in a hushed tone as if he is talking to an injured animal. The older man doesn’t respond, just continues to stare off through Remus. His small smile fading when he doesn’t get a response, but it grows back a little when he feels Sirius tightly squeezing his hand, his eyes still glazed over. Quietly Lily places two mugs of tea in front of the men a sad smile crossing her lips as her eyes meet Remus’, the emerald orbs giving away that she read the letter as well. Grabbing one of the mugs Remus relaxes into the couch, pulling the man on his lap closer. The room falls into a sad silence, the fire crackling being the only thing causing any form of noise in the room until Sirius breaks the silence, only whispering. “It's all my fault.”

As Sirius begins to fall, asleep Remus picks his boyfriend up, carrying him to the guest room. When he puts Sirius in the bed and is about to walk out of the room Sirius speaks up for the second time that night. “Don’t leave, please,” he whispers brokenly, tears beginning to stream down his face in the dark. Wiping away a tear from his own face, Remus nods and makes his way over to the bed. Sirius automatically curling around Remus, his head resting on his chest, Sirius falling asleep to the sound of the taller man’s rhythmic heartbeat. Pulling the blankets tightly around them, tracing small shapes on Sirius’ arm and back as Remus watches his boyfriend falls into a fitful sleep, wishing he could take away all his pain.

As the night wears on Remus stays awake calming Sirius by running his finger through the other man’s hair whenever he begins to thrash around or mumbling in his sleep. As Sirius starts to relax for the tenth time that night Remus hears someone pacing back and forth, he smiles to himself knowing that his friends are most likely taking turns staying up. His smile grows a little more when he hears James mumbling under his breath on the other side of the door, probably wanting to come in but knowing that he can’t help.

As Remus is about to fall asleep, he hears the door to their room open. Looking through his eyelashes, Remus sees James walk in and place a glass of water along with a plate of chocolate on the nightstand beside the bed. He turns to leave but stops, leaning on the doorframe as he watches two of his best friends. As if on a timer Sirius lets out a small scream before thrashing around some. On reflex Remus begins running one of his hands through Sirius’ hair, the other hand tracing patterns on his arm. James smiles to himself and is about to close the door when Remus groggily speaks up, his eyes meeting James. “Thank You.” James smiled a soft lopsided smile and with a nod closes the door behind him.

As James come back into the living room, Lily finishes wrapping a blanket around a sleeping Peter in the corner. Walking towards James, Lily pulls her lip in between her teeth. When she is in front of James, she wraps her arms around him, his coming to rest around his waist, With her head resting on his chest, she looks up at the raven haired man with worry present in her eyes. “How is he? Is he going to be alright?” she asks as a slight frown crosses James’ features at the question, he looks down at Lily before answering. “It's going to be rough, and it will take a lot of time bit he is going to get there. We just need to make sure to tell him it's not his fault until he believes us.” tightly he pulls Lily closer, kissing the top of her head as he watches the sunrise through the window behind her.

In the other room, Remis kisses the top of Sirius’ head, the long-haired man having just woken from a nightmare. In quiet early morning hours, Remus hugs Sirius closer to him, speaking into his hair. “I know you don’t believe this right now, and I don’t expect you to but it's not your fault and even though it's going to take time. It's going to get better, and if you don’t believe anything else I’ve just told you just know that I will love you and I will be here no matter what.”


	2. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Denial ain't just a river in Eygpt." -Mark Twain

It was cloudy and gray outside, the weather easily mirroring what Sirius felt inside. It had been a week or so since he had received the letter from his younger brother, he wasn’t sure how long it had been anymore. The days and nights all having blurred together into the gray and cloudiness.

Remus watches from the door frame as Sirius writes out yet another letter addressed to Regulus. Shaking his head Sirius crumples up the paper, throwing it into a growing pile surrounding their desk.

Remus takes the opportunity, clearing his throat to make himself known before walking towards the desk, setting one of the mugs of tea he was carrying. Remus squats down to pick up one of the balls of paper, unfolding it and letting his green eyes scan over the words. “Siri, what are you doing?” Remus asks, he is met with gray eyes, the older man’s features giving away nothing. “I’m writing to Regulus; he needs to cut off this ridiculous game of his.” As Sirius turns back to a new sheet of parchment, Remus stares down at his boyfriend in what could only be described as shock.

After a moment of silence Remus speaks up again, this time his voice comes out quieter than before. “Pads I may not have known your brother, but from some of the things I have heard from you and have seen in our Hogwarts years when he didn’t think anyone was around, but I doubt that Regulus would do something like this. Sure he is as you would call it, one of the damned in the Black family but I still doubt that he’d do this for laughs.” Slowly the werewolf is met with another pair of eyes staring back at him in disbelief. “Remus you don’t know the Ancient and Noble House of Black, and you don’t know my younger brother. This is exactly some kind of sick and twisted joke that they would pull.” Sirius snapped, taking the mug of tea from the desk and downing half of it before setting it back down. Looking back up into the werewolf’s eyes. “Sorry for snapping, just let me deal with it okay?” Taking Remus’ hand Sirius pulls him down, placing a gentle kiss to his lips. The taste of tea and chocolate invading Sirius’ senses even as he pulls away. “I love you,” he whispers against the other's skin before pulling away completely and starting back on his letter.

*********

It's another week when Remus walks into the study finding Sirius laying on one of the overstuffed couches, books, and papers crowding the couch and table around him. As he gets closer, his curiosity takes over, and he picks up the papers closest to him and sits down next to Sirius’ feet. Glancing down he is a bit surprised when he finds that it is articles about complicated tracking spells with Sirius’ familiar handwriting all around the papers. The light-haired man is about to grab some more papers from around the couch when he feels the other man began to stir next to him. Sirius lets out a deep sigh his eyes slowly fluttering open, meeting Remus’ amber and green eyes a smile growing on his lips. “Hey,” he says, his voice coming out raspy from sleep. “Hey,” Remus responds, putting the papers on the table with the others Remus opens his arms a little, pulling Sirius into them. The older man lays his head on the werewolf's chest. “How was your day love?” Sirius asks, his lips kissing each knuckle on the other man's hand before intertwining his own with it. Werewolf uses his other hand to brush Sirius’ hair out of his face a small smile crossing his features. “It was good, calm. How about you?” he asks, his hand tangling in Sirius’ hair out of habit. Sirius looks around at the mess on the table next to them. “Well as you can probably tell from all the mess it can be seen that it didn’t go as planned.” The older man says, his eyes fluttering closed at the continuous movement of Remus’ hand in his hair. As Sirius’ breath begins to even out Remus lets a smile stretch across his lips as he lets his eyes drift shut, both men falling into peaceful sleep.

The next time Remus opens his eyes it's well past dark. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes the werewolf glances around the room in search of his loved one, his eyes finding him hunched over the desk in the corner, the area lit by a small lamp. Stretching resting on the other man's shoulders. When he doesn’t get a reaction from him, Remus clears his throat, leaning down to kiss a trail from his ear to his jaw. Sirius lightly swats at the werewolf. “Rem, I’m trying to work.” Sirius murmurs, his attention never leaving the work in front of him. “What is it?” Remus asks, his lips still attached to Sirius’ skin. Sirius turns slightly, so the werewolves lips aren’t attached to him anymore, Remus whimpering at the loss of contact. “It notes, I’m trying to figure out why my Accio isn’t working. I know it works on people, I have been doing it for years on you and James. I just can’t figure out why it's not working on Regulus. Does he have a blocking charm on or something? I have tried all I can think of but God damn it I can’t figure it out.” Sirius rants, running his hand through his unruly black hair and leaning back in his chair trying to distance himself from the mess on the desk. The dim light showing the haunting shadows under his eyes and the almost translucent paleness of his skin. The taller of the Gryffindors lets out a deep sigh, turning Sirius around to face him all humor lost on his features. Looking into green and amber Sirius can sense what is about to come next, he can feel the urge to fight beginning to take over. He had always leaned towards fight than flight in situations like this. As he begins to find a way out Remus opens his mouth, cutting his thoughts off. “Sirius are you okay?” Remus asks, his voice coming out soft and gentle almost like its own little form of surrender against Sirius biological need to fight that he knew from experience was making its way to the forefront of his brain. Closing his eyes, Sirius takes in many deep breaths pushing away the feeling to fight as he opens his eyes once more. “I’ll be okay, once my fucker of a little brother gets his head out of his arse and reappears on the face of the Earth seeing as he’d have to of fallen off of it to be this well concealed from my attempts to locate him.” The raven-haired man says in a rush, his breath hitching slightly as he finishes his small rant.

Remus silently pulls the other man into his lap, the two huddling together as Sirius slowly lets tears to come to his eyes as his first doubts about Regulus begin to slowly make their way into his head. As Sirius tries to push away his doubts the thought that if he truly wanted to know what is going on with the younger of the two Black brothers he was going to have to go to the one place he had vowed to never return to, and that thought alone scared him more than any doubt about Regulus’ livelihood.

*********

It was a full moon, and Sirius had a plan. It hadn’t been more than a week and a half since Sirius had cried in his boyfriend's arms both because of the fact that he was beginning to have doubts about his brother being alive but also because of the realization that if he ever really were to know the truth he would have to return to the one place he said he never would. With this realization dawning on him, the dark-haired Gryffindor soon realized that the only way he was going to be able to get to 12 Grimmauld Place he was going to have to do it on the one time Remus would be useless to stop him.

Dread was filling Sirius as he sat at the foot of his and Remus’ bed watching Remus getting ready to leave. He watched as the sandy-haired man got dressed, covering his scars in a tee shirt and then an oversized jumper after pulling on a pair of jeans. Sirius quickly plastered a smile to his lips looking into Remus’ amber eyes, the first sign of his transformation that would occur in a few hour. Remus smiled back, clearing the room in a few strides, his hands resting on the elders thighs “Siri, be good while I’m gone don’t do anything stupid.” the werewolf asked, his smile growing when he saw a hint of a smirk make its home on Sirius’ face the familiar words he had always responded with escaping from him. “I can’t do anything stupid; it's all going with you.” Sirius felt his heart drop as he said the words though knowing that unlike most of the time they were in no way true. He was however distracted from his thoughts again as Remus presses his lips to Sirius’ a small moan like sound escaping from deep within him as he realized how much he would give to just stay in this moment, his lips on his lovers and his worries melting away. However, reluctantly Remus pulled away, leaving a few gentle kisses on Sirius’ nose, cheeks, and forehead before pulling away completely. A sad smile crosses the werewolf features as he looks down at Sirius, he knew something was wrong, but he couldn’t stay and help, the feeling of uselessness chipping at his heart. “I love you Stars,” Remus says as he gets closer to the door, his heart trying to make him stay, telling him something bad was going to happen if he didn’t, but he knew that he couldn’t do that. He had never had control of the wolf and even less when he was emotional. Looking up into Remus’ amber eyes Sirius returned the other man's small smile as he spoke. “I love you too Moon.”

As the moon is pulling high into the sky, Sirius stares out of the windows in the living room, downing one last glass of fire whiskey. Slamming the glass down onto the table, a little surprised when it doesn’t break, Sirius walks out into the night quickly changing into his animagus form and disappearing into the shadows as he begins to make his journey to the place he never thought he would go to again.

It doesn’t look the slightest bit different from when it did when he was sixteen; it looks deadly, dark, and so full of hatred. His anxiety was rising by the minute just from sitting outside the ruins of his childhood. With a chill running down his spine he jumps starts into motion, making his way across the street. Sirius takes a deep breath as he passes through the wards around the structure, the mess of DNA in the Black family out balancing the ban his mother had placed on the house when he ran away. Closing his eyes he wills the door to open, his eyes open to the soft click of the lock and the calm breeze of his magic rushing past him as the door opens showing the familiar dark hallway. With one last deep breath, Sirius enters 12 Grimmauld Place.

Quietly Sirius makes his way through the entrance hall towards the stairs, sticking to the shadows to hide from the portraits hanging on every surface. It was past midnight, and as Sirius stood at the end of the steps, his breath hitched in his throat he heard a deadly silence that was uncommon in that household since Sirius had begun attending Hogwarts.

The eerie feeling follows the black haired dog as he makes his way up the stairs, careful to avoid all the hollow and creaky steps as he passed the second floor, then the third and lastly stopping on the floor housing two rooms. Neither of them were open but even with his eyes closed he would forever have the image of those rooms burned into his brain. One red and gold with muggle posters pinned to the wall, the room having been abandoned in a rush. The other green and silver, similar to the other in layout and size. The walls were decorated with newspaper clippings and the Black family crest.

Shifting from his animagus form he stood between the two doors, the built up of longing feeling wash over him before he reminded himself of everything that happened in those two rooms, the house, the people in it. He takes a step closer to the room; his hand rests on the door knob a sound coming from inside stopping him from opening the door. A small whimper like cry, followed by another a few moments later. Sirius steals a look up and down the hall and stairs before opening the door slowly revealing a broken and weak looking Orion Black, something Sirius would never be able to admit he wanted to see without his mask faltering.

The eldest Black looks up from his hands at the sound of the door opening, tired eyes widening as they connect with his sons. “Sirius,” he whimpers “No no it can’t be you. You left, you're gone.” he shakes his head to rid him of the vision in front of him however to Orion’s dismay Sirius didn’t disappear. “This is it, isn’t it? She's finally decided she is done with me has she?” Orion asks into the silence of the room, not even directing the question towards Sirius. Even with all the hatred, Sirius held towards his father it hurt to see him like this; broken, fragile, no will to continue. Slowly Sirius stepped farther into the room, willing his face to stay emotionless as he watches the wizard in front of him, the father that beat him on his mother's order. Orion blinks back tears and runs a hand through his tangled hair, eyes never leaving Sirius’ “The father I was,” he begins, looking away from his eldest son. “I was taught that is how a father, an heir to the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, was supposed to hold themselves and act. That can’t be right, though. I lost both of my sons, one because of lack of acceptance and abuse. The other to rebellion against something he believed was wrong. They both rebelled, one against us the other against something we pushed him to become.” At this confession Sirius’ almost let his mask fall. His father believed what he did was wrong, both to himself believed what he did was wrong, both to himself believe that his father was, in fact, trying to repent for his sins he knew that he would have to acknowledge what his father said next. “Regulus died, and in one way or another, it is Walburga and I’s fault. We pushed him to get that close and use his pureblood status to be the Dark Lord’s right hand. Walburga seems fine, doesn’t even appear to care that she has now lost not one but two children. But she's always been that way, even when we were kids.” At the mention of his mother's name Sirius cringed, not able to stop himself when his legs gave out, the younger Black crumpling to his knees. Sure his father had beat him and done unforgivable things to him, but one thing his father had never done was lie to him. It wasn’t on purpose, his father had always told him what to be and what to do and in one way or another, his father was telling one side of a true story.

Orion looked at the man in front of him as if for a second he believed that it was, in fact, his eldest son, with a shake of his head the look was gone and he was back to just looking through Sirius as if he wasn’t even there. Swallowing a growing lump in his throat, Sirius spoke for the first time since he had left his flat. “You made wrong choices, did things you shouldn’t have. You are a bad person, but not everything you have done is horrible. You didn’t chase Sirius once he ran, somewhere deep down you knew he would be better off.” Sirius let his guard down, his hopes of his words being the truth growing. Orion nodded silently, his eyes glazing over some as he stared at the wall behind Sirius. In almost a whisper the older speaks, his eyes never looking away from the wall. “He is, he and the Lupin boy are sharing a flat last time I checked. He has a group of friends and is happy which is all a father should ever truly want for his child. Isn’t it?” Sirius is dead silent, his breath catching in his throat. His father kept track of him after he left, he knows about Remus and the others. Slowly Orion turned his attention and gaze on his eldest son. “You're here because Walburga is done with me, she doesn't have any need for her purse dog now that she had no more children for me to discipline. She poisoned me at dinner or something, and now I am hallucinating the son I disowned.” Sirius couldn’t bring himself to speak; slowly he moved closer to the man that used to beat him at least once a week for years when he was younger. It is as if time stops when Orion pulls his son into a quick hug, it only lasting a few seconds before the older Black pulls away again. Sirius was stunned, he couldn't remember a time his father had embraced him. After a moment of silence, he turned to his father and said the thing that everyone had been saying to him for a month now. “It's okay; it will get better.” When the words left his mouth, he finally realized just how much of a lie it was. He gave a sympathetic smile towards his father and stood, making his way towards the door. “I’m not here to take you. I am sorry for your loss.” Sirius says before making his way down the stairs and out of the ruins of his childhood for the last time, not caring who saw or heard him slam the door so hard the frame rattled. With one last look at the house, he disappears into the night anger beginning to burn in his bloodstream with every step he takes.


End file.
